Nothing incredibly “existential” or “essential for you to go-on” things to write about tonight. I’m curled up on my new, parent’s old, couch. Huckle is sprawled on the middle of my new rug napping When he naps he puckers his little puppy lips so you can see his slight under-bite. It’s something only a puppy-mom would love.
It intrigues me at new challenges or trials I face, once I seem to conquer the last. This past spring I’ve dealt a lot with whether my current situation was a sign of failing or just below-average of what my peers were accomplishing. Despite lots of encouragement and great things, it wasn’t until I compared the contentment in moving up the steps slowly with my horses that I came to terms that my real-world situations should be enjoyed in the same way.
This past Sunday Pastor Chris talked about Elisha who requested half of Elijah’s spirit for the Lord. Detailing how long and patiently Elisha had cared for his mundane tasks before being granted power over great things. Just an extra push, that while now some days are mundane or minute, before being granted greater desires, I should be able to manage what I have well and thoughtfully.
So then, this week to my surprise new worries and doubts came on managing my finances and the ever-looming fact that eventually I need to get the rest of my hours and take that CPA exam. Job-worries are a different kind of worry than my girl relational/friendship/social worries. The latter, I can have a big cry, then put on some big sunglasses and loud music and solve quite quickly. Pluck in a huge cup of jo from a local coffee shop and instant relief. Grown-up job worries though, are a different kind of strain. It’s like a nagging weight, you just kind of carry around in your purse all the time. You don’t want to buy that cup of jo because that costs money and then you get a notice from Alabama Power that you owe an extra $190 to switch your electricity into your account, so there you spend it anyways, and then it’s 10pm and you wonder how in the world you’re going to fit in 30 more credit hou……
See quite looming.
So, the best place I know to find some sound answers: my bible. Lines underlined, my favorite passages high-lighted. Tonight as I was reading the passages prescribed by Highlands I found in Proverbs 14: 6
The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none,
but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.
I got a kick out of this, as I was just discussing with my family how I felt my spiritual gift, was the gift of discernment. (See: clairvoyance) But truly, a push towards hope and perseverance. So many times the Lord promises in his word to be our refuge and fortress. And those are pretty strong.
When we’re worried or try to plan our own lives strictly by what WE think is best, it’s so important to root yourself deeply int he Word and request his spirit to give us wisdom. When doing so, what have we to fear? Nothing.
Just writing this short post and reminding myself of memorized passages, I am so confident in each day. While I can’t foretell what exactly may happen tomorrow or next week, I can be secure that when nestled in God’s rest, I am in his will and he has a plan much bigger than what I can make.