Existential Pony Life Probs.

To say that I am excited about this blog post is an under-statement. I got called into work this afternoon and between filing extensions for tax returns and driving back to the barn where I’d left my ponies, I had this sudden existential revelation.

Let us just admit a fish is a fish. C-Square literally learns all her life lessons first through her horses, and then after trial and error in my social life realizes I’ve already learned something from the pony-life and can bring it over to my real-person life.

Finally watched the episode where Schmidt proposes to Cece. Cried like a baby.


I’ll begin. By the time my mother was 23 she was happily married to my handsome dad and expecting a precious baby, me, and living on a huge farm with horses and cows. Let’s not set the bar high or anything Mom. It’s no secret that Auburn is literally the community of young couples who take their young kids for lemonade and their yellow labs to Samford lawn. I can also promise you that every time I log onto social media without fail, one acquaintance has put a ring on it.

You catch my drift, that I, seeing this, am like hell yea, I’ll take some of that. I mean I could use a little Joanna Gaines cutesy kitchen life, with my white SUV, and puppy dog walks on Sunday afternoons.

So, on a Friday evening after an eleven hour day of filing tax returns, one large glass of sweet red, and too many episodes of New Girl with a finale of Schmidt and Cece getting engaged, yours truly is bitter as hell. “Hello Jesus, did I forget to mention that this is how my life is supposed to be, and um you’re not providing that?” says my wining self. (Get it? punny right?)

—— and at this point I stopped writing and watch Clueless. 90s classic. Fast-forward a day:

as if clueless
Clueless makes my Top 5 favorite movies.

I’m waiting for the whole sermon from today to download so I’ll finally get to my point, which today, this weekend, I feel so strongly about. This weekend my security and “existential” ideas were tested, I passed, and now am ardently trying to get a full thought down in writing.


So, finally  yesterday as I’m driving back to the barn after work, I thought about how satisfied and content I’ve become in my own riding. Not in a way where I’m not daily trying to improve, but I’ve finally settled into a nook where I love loving on my horses, bringing them along at their own pace, and while have goals of upper-levels am not miserable that I’m not on an U25 list and haven’t made it through my first 1*. I then wondered why in my own life I haven’t reached this same point. Why am I in any hurry and making myself miserable over not reaching some pinnacle, that when reached will only be the step to the next one? I’ve been quite fortunate and blessed to have a comfortable home and friends and isn’t that so much more, and plenty of excitement for me right now? I actually love the community I’ve built, the town I live in, and I’ve gone on so many adventures in the past few months. Why waste any second trying to race too fast to anything. Surely, in some future those things may happen, but there’s no point in not taking advantage of the really cool things I’m getting to do now.

I was quite happy with the revelation. How silly I am, not to see that the pony-life teaches me all life lessons.

Then I took it a step to far with my pony-existential thoughts.

For instance, I’ve had some incredible animals to compete. I’ve had young horses and some seasoned competitors. Each one, I knew while not my Rolex, 4**** potential, was essential to reaching my goals and well worth the learning experience. When sold, or retired, never did I think I wouldn’t continue to ride or one day reach my goals. Maybe retiring Burger, tore at my heart and his passing this spring. I mourned, but was always so grateful for our experiences and what he taught me that I’d be able to use on my on-day big-time horse. Is it any different in dating? (yea, literally the pony-life sometimes seeps in too far) I mean, sure I’ve gone on some great dates and met some interesting and some amazing guys. But when one doesn’t work out, why am I any more upset than in the same scenario I sell or retire a horse? I can be content knowing that I can just learn a few things and better love and build a relationship for the big-time one. I mean, ok some you learn less than others. And some like horses, you shouldn’t have bought or done a bit more intensive pre-purchase exam before bringing them home. Or if they buck you off when you try them, maybe that’s a sign you don’t buy the horse. But, I mean take away what you can, don’t give them back their dog shock-collar they lent you to train your mischievous dog, keep those comfy t-shirts.


BUT, WHATEVER YOU DO.. do not let them take your visitor’s parking pass. because, you will not get it back. And then when the next one comes around, you won’t have any visitor parking pass to give them..

You can take that literally or as a metaphor.










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