Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
I’ve been trying to finish a blog for a week now. I’m having writer’s block. I started this blog to reference my horsey issues, then pretend that I had my life together, and now it’s a bit more self-reflection on where I seem to be heading.
I’ve really had to reflect recently on how many silly, embarrassing, amateur-girl moves I make. Ooooh. Good comparison. On the girl professional-amateur scale. I am most definitely still in my amateur phase. I envy the professional girls. The ones that don’t talk too much about their problems, have the ability to never text boys first, and seem to walk through life without worrying too much and being comfortable in their own skin.
I will admit, I am finally comfortable to pull off a hipster toboggan. Literally guys favorite outfit. This super soft big sweater from Behind the glass that I spent too much money on, with my forest green beanie, leggings, and black army boots. So hipster, I think my barista even hit on me.
Back to topic:
So, my last rough drafts for my blog have dealt with my confusion between contentment and settling. Here in Auburn, I feel safe, and fine, and comfortable. Is this a bad thing? Does this mean that I’ve avoided the hard road I’m supposed to take? Or, have I always been running so fast I don’t know how to recognize a blessing in disguise?
I mean, I have been blessed with friends I adore, a healthy horse, and a job that I laugh at constantly. Yes, accountants can laugh. I even have barely enough funds for this amazing sweater. (I’m sorry. Please pray for me. I had a gift card to Behind the Glass, and this sweater stole my heart. )
There is some danger I’ve found in contentment. When I was in Annapolis, I was terrified. Terrified of being alone, doing the wrong things, and becoming the person I wasn’t supposed to be. In that time, Jesus was the only one I knew I could trust. Every day I poured out my heart to God. Within a few weeks I just felt swarmed with him telling me this is where I need to go. So, I moved home, and here I am. Now, in the comfort of a good place it’s been to easy to let that passion for Jesus take a lessor priority. As soon as that happens, suddenly old habits sneak back. Is this Claire one, that others can say, “She really loves Christ. I want part of that.”
I went to Church of the Highlands for the first time today. The message was so inspirational in light of what the previous paragraph discusses. I was just reading James last night, and this verse was mentioned today.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when ever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4
In light of trials and faith-testing, I must remember that the greatest romance is with the Lord. He has saved my soul, provided every need, and fills up my cup. Any good thing comes from Him. Sometimes I miss that. I look for other things to fill me up and satisfy me.
And Oh Goodness. When I do, I ALWAYS get caught. The Lord has blessed my mother with the super power of knowing everything and my dear friend, SAB, the ability to call me out. So, there’s literally no escape when you’ve committed yourself to the Lord. He finds ways to call you out big time.
I adored the lyrics of this song we sang today.
To the one who ha rescued my soul, to the one who has welcomed me home, the the one who is Savior of All. I sing forever.
So, I’ve found a little nook in Auburn, Alabama. There is this precious coffee shop, Coffee Cat, located behind downtown. With their cute baristas, exposed brick walls, and delicious coffee I could spend hours here. Ok, I order hot chocolate. They put a ton of whip cream and chocolate swirls on the top. It’s so cozy!
Here is the full song from the lyrics I posted earlier.