So in this journey… This coming-of-age tale… Honestly, guys I just like typing.
I had assumed that during this period of my life of learning how to become an accomplished adult, the main change in my life would be the gradual decline of mistakes I made. These types of mistakes revolving anywhere from dating, outfits, work, or forgetting where I set things. I was psyched about this part of adulthood. The bills, responsibility, not so excited about. But, to finally reach a point where I make the right choices, now that is a relief and will help me sleep at night.
Ahem, ahem… (Of course I don’t even consider myself an adult now)
Not true. I still am making the same if not more mistakes than I was last month, three months, a year ago. Adulthood you steered me wrong.
However, I feel like in my own personal life, (because I think people are constantly evolving, which is why I still think my high-school crush may change his mind and like-like me one day) I am becoming more purposeful about being transparent, honest, and bold in light of circumstances. I aspire to react to wrong, more like completely-embarrassing-please-dont-publish things I do, choices by peering at the big picture. Maybe that is key lesson that separates these two periods in a person’s life rather than just not doing silly, stupid things. At least that’s what I’m going to go with on this blog.
I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about how sometimes the effort doesn’t qualify you for the win. Making the right moves did. In some ways that’s still so true. But, what I’m figuring out is, I don’t have to win. If I don’t win, I’m still ok.
Admitted in my last post, I felt that I was struggling handling my own emotions so that I sought after professional help. That turning point has allowed me to really take an overview of the big picture, see what really matters and what doesn’t.
That doesn’t mean I don’t over-think everything and like I just admitted I still don’t make the smartest choices. But, I can throw up a middle finger (when my Mom’s not looking) at the boy who said I was crazy and keep going. I’ve been overwhelmed at the number of girls I’ve developed friendships with who are dealing with bad breakups, regretful situations, financial stuff, and they think they’re the only ones in their circle who have these issues. Trust me, dear one.You’re not crazy and deserve to be confident in your own skin. I am just getting to that point. It’s just so fun. You know, to put on obnoxious sunglasses, go buy an expensive Free People sweater, and be ok with who you are.
Part of this honesty and transparency has allowed me to cultivate new and real friendships. I’ve never felt so loved by friends, until the past few weeks. Trust me, this isn’t an I have a friend to hang out with every night, every lunch, and goes with me to the grocery store type popularity. I still have plenty of evenings my friends are busy, and I’m like hello… (like Adele) But, the community of people that I have reached out to again, they’re real friends. They’re honest, have issues, and they care about my well-being as much as I care for theirs. That’s very important when you’re working on making friends.
In other news. I just bought a Selena Gomez and Fetty Wap cd. So that’s my life right now.
Also, I am obsessing over this artist called Bebe Rexha. I would love love to have dark dark hair and be a rockstar. Truly. I can rap every word to Trufflebutter. So, this is a fun song to sing really loud in your pjs and dancing around with your puppy. Oh, just I do that? It’s a healthy habit.