“Greater is the One living inside of me
than he who is living in the world.”
As I’m trying to figure this thing out called adulthood, I’ve found myself drowning and for those who don’t know I’m a terrible swimmer, literally. I can’t swim. I took advanced swim lessons to learn all of the strokes, but I still flop around. I don’t know how to efficiently use my arms and legs to keep my head above water. Somehow I can still
water-ski and wakeboard, but just free swimming count me out. Today, as I’m drowning I’m grasping for Christ whose walking on top of the water. Sputtering water out of my mouth, thrashing arms around.. you get the picture. Just like Peter, I can be so head strong. Excited I jump into big adventures, then look around, see the storm around me, then start crying out.
This is where my recent study and perseverance to again find Jesus, leads me to two passages that are keeping my head up and again walking, ok running towards Christ on TOP of the water
(I am newly obsessed with this song. Partly because we have the same range in our voices so I can hit all of the notes. Go altos!)
The first passage was from Psalm 51:9-13. I have to admit, I struggle with verse 9, but I have had brackets around 10 for quite some time. Unfortunately, verse 9 precedes and is a quiet reminder who I am, but the rest of the passage shows me why I have hope!
“Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity (See! But then..) Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.“
In a time when I have for so long followed dreams but also selfish ambitions, I have to catch myself. While my own dreams and love to ride my ponies is not an evil in itself, if it does not glorify God and I am alone, won’t it all be for nothing?
Ecclesiastes 4:8 says “There was a man all alone;…There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth..This too is meaningless-a miserable business.”
I consider myself a rather competitive person out of a long line of hard workers. There is an article hanging on my Dad’s wall that a magazine published called, “Robinson did it the Hard Way.” Admiring my dad’s hard work to make it in the logging business. Robinsons work the hardest and the mostest. As I hope to follow that lead, I have easily now found myself in a place that in effort to be the fastest, most winning, best that I can be actually pushed away those who have supported me along the way. Maybe it was subconsciously and not purposefully, but it’s not hard to find yourself like the man in Ecclesiastes when you put your whole priority on your work rather than those around you and the greater purpose (Glorifying God).
So that has led me to a new favorite passage. I have repeated it a few times over the course of the week. It reminds me that I can’t go about this alone nor am I supposed to.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.” Eccles. 4:9-12
It hasn’t been the easiest to pull myself out of the stormy ocean, nor do I admit I’m fully running on top of it now. I feel like it’s so fragile that if I even look out of my peripherals I’m going to sink again.